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#SweetSat Sample - 16/11/2012

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you all taking the time, especially as I know how busy we all are nowadays.

I hope you enjoy this week's little sample from my current book "Innocent Tears".



“Flynn? Flynn!”

He dipped his head and shook it regretfully. “Yes, Mum, I’m still here.” He paused for a moment and then continued. ”Sarah’s parents came for a visit.”

The surprise was obvious by the moment of quiet. “Teresa and William?” she asked in disbelief, her voice an octave higher than usual.

His hand was holding the bottle of beer next to him like his life depended on it. “Mum, I’ve got a young daughter.”

Silence.

“Flynn, have you been drinking?”

“Mum, I’m serious as serious could be. Remember Sarah not wanting to live in Melbourne, and then saying she had someone else in her life?”

He heard her sigh. “How can I forget? I don’t think I’d ever seen you so upset and depressed.”

“Well…” He took a deep breath. “That someone was a baby. I’ve got a little girl, Mum.”

More silence. His mouth curved into a grin when he heard his mother whisper to his father, “Get me a stiff drink, Carl. We’ve just become grandparents.”

She lifted her hand off the receiver and rattled out questions. “How old is she? What’s her name?”

The grin disappeared and he rubbed his face. “Six, and Nadine,” he murmured.

Jenny screamed into the phone. “Si-i-i-ix?”

Flynn almost dropped the bottle. “Good grief, Mum. Keep it down.”

He heard her sipping her drink – whatever it was. “How am I supposed to keep it down? Flynn, why on earth… why the… Teresa and William… and where’s Sarah–“

“Mum!”

Silence.

“Jenny Rose McCormack.”

She sighed. “Yes?”

“Ask Dad for a glass of water.”

“Oh my goodness gracious, Flynn.” He heard her holding her hand over the phone. “Carl, he says I need a glass of water.”

Flynn shook his head. Carl wanted to talk to his son as well – of course, because so far he was just serving her with drinks and listening to outbursts of disbelief and questions. “Not now… in a minute… It’s my turn”

“Mum?”

“Your father is a bit of a pain here.”

“Mum?” he said more firmly.

“Yes?” she replied flustered.



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10 comments:

  1. This has happened to more than one couple that I know. It's really upsetting. Good job.

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    1. I can only imagine that it can turn one's life up-side-down. I hope the couple you know has come to terms with it and are ok now.

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  2. Fantastic job conveying the emotions here. I definitely want to know more about this story!

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    1. Thank you Ruth ... glad you liked it!

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  3. well done.
    conveys the discomfort of Flynn and the shock of his Mum.
    also reveals a bit about the dad.

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    1. Thank you Jeff. It would be quite of a shock, wouldn't it.

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  4. Oh boy, you really cracked the emotions with this sample :-)

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    1. Thank you, Sherry. Means a lot coming from you :-)

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  5. I love the realistic dialogue and emotions of the scene. That can't be a very pleasant surprise so many years on.

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    1. Thanks Carrie-Anne. A surprise indeed.

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