Sunday Snippet - Fresh Beginnings 31/05/2015 #Romance #amwriting



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FRESH BEGINNINGS
Jeri's story "Little Beginnings" was sent to the publisher last week. As I have too many stories to finish at the moment, I thought I'd post a few snippets from the previous "Beginnings" book.
I used our itinerary from our US travels two years ago and wrote a romance story around in.
Today's post is with Jared arriving in the US.
Enjoy!
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Two weeks later, Jared set foot onto American soil. Actually, he didn't set foot on soil, but on one of the buses that transported a whole airplane full of tired travellers to the terminal for immigration purposes. It was still early in the morning. In fact, it was two hours earlier than he had left Melbourne. The fourteen hours on the plane hadn't been as bad as he had expected. He'd asked for an aisle seat next to the exit and was able to throw in a snooze or two during the flight.

Jared tried hard to breathe through his mouth to avoid the lingering smell of the passengers who, it seemed, hadn't had contact with water and soap in many hours. He couldn't wait to get out of this trap.

Next on his journey was a long stop-and-go struggle through the immigration hall and customs before he was able to pick up his bag. Finally, after what seemed like an endless morning of shuffling through the Los Angeles airport, he exited the building only to be stuck again in yet another queue—waiting for a taxi.

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22 comments:

  1. Hurry up and wait! LOL Can't wait to find out why he's here. Is he immigrating or just visiting?

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    1. Visiting ... travelling around the US ... with handicaps of course, as it always seems to be in a romance ;-) Thanks PT.

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  2. You paint a very visual picture and the reader gets to share his frustrations about the long lines. Great snippet.

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    1. Thanks Chelle. It was frustrating indeed :-)

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  3. Noooooooo!!! Where are Eli and Jeri???
    Anyway. I'll never take an aisle seat. There is always someone next to you to get up and bother you. I prefer to be the one bothering people. Good for him that he had a nice flight though.

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    1. Thanks Linda. Eli and Jeri are with a publisher. Keep your fingers crossed :-)

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  4. Wow, you really show the struggle with the steps of the journey. And you've thrown in a nice bit of character-building. :-) Good snippet. :-)

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  5. Ugh, you've captured my least-favorite parts about traveling; I totally sympathize with Jared!

    (Good luck with Ely and Jeri! :) )

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    1. thanks, Sarah ... for the comment and good luck :-)

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  6. Wonderful imagery. And I've been to the Los Angeles Airport--what a nightmare. lol

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    1. Thanks Karen. Once you've survived "Dubai Airport", all the others are a breeze :-)

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  7. Lots of waiting and he must be impatient to get ON with his real trip. Enjoyed the snippet, so realistic.

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    1. Dont' we all. Get the flight travel over and done with so we can start with the actual fun ? :-) Thanks Veronica.

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  8. Oh, wow, what's he doing there? Can't wait to find out.

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    1. thanks Elaine. He's on holidays. More snippets to come.

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  9. I can feel the frustration in this scene. Great job.

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  10. Having only dealt with 10-hr flights before, I can guarantee that he's no "fresher" than the rest of the passengers. So it sets some good characterization having him being frustrated with them when he's just as ripe.... He's got a low tolerance for other people's "stuff", I take it?

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    1. thanks, Eden. He probably wasn't, but nonetheless can it be uncomfortable - or as in my case it WAS uncomfortable ;-)

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  11. Nice work. The bit about the body odors is especially vivid.

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